I once heard a man say, “Life would be great if it wasn’t for people.”

However, God made us to be social beings. We need each other. That includes people who don’t share our last name, who don’t live in our neighborhood, who were born with a different skin color, or who voice opinions distinct from ours.

Can we really live in harmony with each other? The New Testament gives Christians three good word pictures to follow for relational peace.

Chase after peace

We’re told in Hebrews 12:14 to “Pursue peace with all people” (NKJV). Pursuing peace will lead us certain directions and away from other directions. Consider the following pursuit actions:

• Ignore the misquitoes. During disagreements, small irritations buzz in our thoughts. They want the attention that belongs to major issues. When we recognize the difference, we can ignore those misquitoes. For instance, during a dispute, resist saying everything that comes into your mind.
• Listen in silence. When someone opposes us, friends may give well-intended advice: “defend your rights” or “get even.” Instead of those loud voices, seek a place of silence, then listen for the Holy Spirit’s soft, wise voice.
• Ask God. Ed Dobson says, “When I encounter opposition, I ask, Is God trying to show me something in this? Is this a process of character development in my life?”

Cultivate peace

The Lord’s brother, James, writes, “And those who are peacemakers will plant seeds of peace and reap a harvest of righteousness” (James 3:18).

We don’t accidentally cultivate peace. Like a gardener, we plan.

A peace gardener plants peace-oriented words and actions in the soil of goodwill. When we water and weed the soil, what we’ve planted will grow. That’s relationship building. It takes persistence and patience.

The weeding process sometimes means tackling an issue head on. It can be done with tact. What if the other person responds with anger? Solomon advised, “A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare” (Proverbs 15:1, NLT). Keep cultivating.

The desired harvest is a healthy, restored relationship.

Surrender to peace

The Apostle Paul lived on a battlefield of clashing ideas. Enemies constantly worked against him in the name of religion. Yet, he strongly promoted peace within the church.

Paul wrote to the Colossians, “And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful” (Colossians 3:15, NKJV).

Disagreements are part of life. Letting them become a wedge in a Christian relationship shouldn’t be. Paul had to write to a couple of co-workers in the Philippian church, “Now I appeal to Euodia and Syntyche. Please, because you belong to the Lord, settle your disagreement” (Philippians 4:2, NLT).

To let God’s peace “rule” is to let it act as an umpire. In each situation, it’s to allow God’s peace–not our opinions or biases–make the call. No matter how we’re inclined to respond, God’s supernatural peace is ready to guide us.

The Road Ahead:

1. Think of someone with whom you currently need to resolve a disagreement. Should you employ one or more of the bullet points for chasing after peace? Should you plant peace-oriented words and actions or tactfully weed the garden? Ask for God’s help.
2. Is your conflict with another Christian? Instead of letting it become a wedge between you, allow God’s peace to act as your umpire.

Further Fuel: Romans 12:18; Psalm 34:14; Colossians 3:12-13; James 1:19.